Good read : relationships

Read me: http://elitedaily.com/dating/never-fought-never-been-in-love/951408/

This link above has changed my whole out look on love, passion and relationships. I am a woman in a almost year long relationship who lives with her boyfriend and have my moments were I could just " kick his butt" for the days we argue or the days we fight. It's healthy though we all fight and for those who say they don't, give me a break.

This article had a saying that stuck with me " if you don't fight then your not really in love " ... not to say being inlove only means you fight but fighting is just a healthy thing in a relationship. When you fight it just means you Truely love one another to fight for eachother or display passion. Infatuation always comes first the stage of false hopes and the stage of winning one another over. Then comes the storm of passion and comfort. It's a beautiful thing really its the bump you either ride out or the bump that breaks you. Most are fortunate enough to ride it out and I am thankful and fortunate enough to have found that man who has guided me through those many bumps. Yes, most can judge my relationship of what they know  but at the end of the day what I have and feelings we share is passion, true love and support in one another. I wouldn't have it any other way because I know he has seen me at my worse and has accepted me at my best.

Relationships they are tricky things and come with many stages it's who you are with and if you walk towards those stages together and  follow through with them that matters most. Another quote stated " that person you are with because your verbal punching bag" I found this humorous because it's accurate. So many only share the good never the bad, because of fear of judgment which I understand. I am not supporting verbal or harmful relationships but healthy fighting is healthy and needed to keep a relationship strong. Many may disagree but I know for my relationship it has brought me more inlove and more passionate then ever before. I would never change it for the world.. plus who does love making up ;)

Love is love,passion is passion, fight for your love and passion.

♡♡♡♡

Loving yourself

The struggle to love your insecurities and love yourself the way you are is something many struggle with. Heck! I struggle with it daily and I still have moment where I feel unpretty and I feel over weight. I see inspirational quotes everywhere and I hear inspirational voices being said, they change my mind for that while to believe that I am beautiful. They make mee feel in control of my views.
I am not saying it's only hard for woman to feel beautiful but for any gender really. We all want what other have and we all apeal to shiny beautiful things. Daily we log onto social media websites to feel connected, displayed are photoshopped/edited photos of people from all ofver the world. Media has killed the word beauty and defined it as something that can be made and edited as oppose to something someone feels internally.

I am not saying that it is all in the hands of social media but they do not help our mind sets. We as a team need to understand that we are worthy, we are beautiful and we define the real life of beauty. I am exhausted of feeling un worthy of my skin and insecure of my flaws. I am making it a priority to feel beautiful inside and see myself in the mirror as beautiful. Isn't it in order to show true beauty you need to feel it. Don't you need to love yourself before other can love you and don't you need to feel good to enjoy life. Isn't that what true beauty is ?

I'm sayin that as a team as one, I am making a stand to accept my flaws and be happy in my own skin and look back at my accomplishments not my struggles. To look at myself as my own person and myself as art in this world, I am different, I am me and that is what beauty is. Not an application to fade out my scars, my flaws or my identity.

But all in all do what makes you feel beautiful and strong.

Rant done.

When life gives you lemons?

They say when life gives you lemons you need to use those lemons to make lemonade. Well I've been thrown a bucket of lemons these past months. It has been hard to bounce back from these bruises. I do know that I am slowly making lemonade and soon it willl taste like bitter sweet lemonade.

Through this experiance I have learned it's okay to cry, its okay to have a pitty party and it's for sure okay to be negative and upset when these rotten lemons are thrown your way. But there does come a time you need to drink this bitter sweet lemonade and realize it's life and God has a plan for us all. If my plan is what it is right now then I need to cope with it and fight it. I need to choose to make it into something worth over coming. I'm not saying it's going to happen over night, because lord knows it won't but it will happen in time and when ready.

Positivity is a choice and a job on its own. A very tough unpaid job but it does give great benefits. I know I do preech positivity and I guess its always easier said then done. Trust me I've realized this all in a matter of a few months, but in life you use that lemonade you have made and wash down all the tequila shots you have taken with all that negativity. What goes in must come out right? So negativity in and positivity out.

IN TIME..

Its a bitter sweet thing truthfully, but it is doable if you chose for it to be doable.

So on that note remember God always has a plan for us ( if your religious) and if your not, then remember the light will come soon. Sometimes it just takes awhile to get there and its okay to take your time to get there. But be sure to get there !!

A new year all about ME

So the holidays are here, how exciting!

This year is going to be a new one for me instead of the tradition christmas I usually have with family. I am taking it to the boyfriends side of town and going to a Persian reaturant with family and celebrating his moms birthday as well as Christmas of course. I am very thrilled to be on the other side of celebrations and the new experiance.

So since new years is coming around I have put a lot of thought into what I want to accomplish in 2015. I won't be setting out any goal like losing weight, cutting out foods, or something unrealistic to myself. I decided this new year is going to be a goal of "ME". I don't mean it as a self revolving goal or a selfish one, but I mean it as a focus on myself and what I want. Examples: working hard in school for my needs as a student, feeding and taking care of myself for my own health, making myself happy etc... You get the flow?

I believe its a realistic goal. I want who ever reads this entry to take into consideration your needs and happiness for the new year.

Let's make this year about YOU & ME.

Trapped in an adult body

I always feel as though I am playing house or living a life in the big city were I need to be pintched to wake up.
I always get told I look like I am 16... Which yes it is a good thing, so I'm told.
But when your 22 and your wanting to look 22 its not the best compliment. My friend and I always discuss about how we are tired of looking so young. I want to look my age at least.

Well then a thought came to mind I always feel younger then I am and I feel like people view me that way to. Thought: do more people in this world ever feel like they are playing house or that they are in a pinch me is this real? Or am I the only one.

I guess we are all in this works finding ourself and figuring out how to feel our age or how to do what we are meant to do.

Maybe I'm not the only one.

Santa is almost here

Can you believe Christmas is creeping up on us?! I mean I already see snow flakes falling, Christmas music playing and all the cocoa steaming. It came in such a blink of an eye, but hey I'm not complaining because this is the most wonderful time of the year.

So get your pockets empty and your cards all shinny because it is shopping month. Just because Christmas is around the corner doesn't always mean you should buy extravegent  gifts and get stressed. I take this holiday as a day to love and enjoy eachother company with good food, company and laughs. Keep that in mind when shopping for loved ones. It's the thought that counts people's!

This year my friends and I decided to give gift from the heart on a budget. So if your on a budget like myself here is the perfect gift to give to those you love. I am not the kraftyst but I can when I want to be. So here is a quick and easy gift idea I was inspired by ohitslovely blog. Here are the step into creating the perfect custome made mug.

Jingle bells

First snow fall of the year and can I just say how thrilling that is. The white snow flakes drizzling down to earth to make a beautiful snow wonderland is blissful beauty.

I was inside stuck doing homework but seeing the snow fall while I focused just felt peaceful, I actually enjoyed my homework, and bonus I finished it.

Snow falls call for hot chocolate, cuddles by the fire, ginger bread anything and cute cozy pj's.. now doesn't that sound merry ?!

These past few days I spent convincing my boyfriend that it's not to early to decorate the house for Christmas, some may argue with me but its my favourite time of the year and I want to have beautiful lights, santa and snow for as long as I can.

So why not start now :)

This year is my first Christmas in our own place in toronto and it is so far going well. I got to decorate the way I wanted to, I got to pick the tree decor and make our place look like Christmas vomited all over my home.

Bright lights, tacky colours and miss matching decor is what Christmas is all about.

Happy soon to be holiday everyone and enjoy the bright lights :)

Cliche but I'm feeling 22

Now that my birthday weekend has come to and end I have time to share my most memorable and amazing stories with you all. Well to those that read my posts, Friday was my 22nd birthday and this year out did every birthday in my past. I got ready to go out to dinner with my boyfriend and when he came home he had told me there is no dinner but in fact he planned a party for me. Knock after knock at the door friends from Toronto came and even friends from cambridge/kitchener came. I was overly emotional that my anxiety level were threw threw the roof. I have never in my life had a surprise party planned for me and it was the best experiance in history. To know so many people love you enough to keep a secret of greatness from you means so much, because in the end they all came together in one room and celebrated my birthday. I couldn't  ask for a better day and a better boyfriend.

Saturday my family came over to celebrate my birthday which was very loud, enjoyable, and memorable. I love having my family over in one room it calls for great memories and laughs.

The amount of love I felt this weekend made realize how many great people I have in my life. Thank you everyone for sticking by me threw this year of moving and transition in my life. I am so blessed with all of you in my life.

Student life at its finest.

Sometimes I think to myself why did I go back to school? And than I have my inner conscious saying to get a good job that you love in the future DUH !
 I should be grateful to even get the opportunity and chance to afford an education, but I'm finding it hard to repeat this in my head while I'm reading a paper and writing an essay. Sometimes we just get so caught up in the overwhelming path of life we forget how fortunate we are to have what we have.

But really.. don't you ever just find it so hard to focus on that goal when so many obstacles present themselves to you when trying to reach that future degree. Well I am in the that Plato in my education, I am finding it more then hard to remind myself that it will pay off one day and that I have to keep on hoping in order to succeed in what I want. I know that this is the place for me and wheat I want as a career but I'm finding it so hard to see the shore line when I am so far back out in the sea. Exams re coming quicker then expected, can you believe that we are so close to Christmas break already? Like I mean look at this in about 50 days Christmas will be here and then I'm off to my second semester of school. I feel like it was just yesterday I was back to school shopping and actually thrilled to be in school. Not to say I'm not thrilled to be in school now but I am finding it hard to enjoy it when I have three essays and one major assignment worth 45 percent of my mark on the line.

Where is my motivational push, life? That nudge that  I need to know it will be okay and that I am going to make it to fourth year and get that degree my family and I have been dreaming about? 

Got to kick my butt into gear and know there is a shred line and light at the end of the tunnel may take awhile to see it but I know its there somewhere.

Sometimes I wish I was one of those people who can shut the world out and just focus on school, I am sure I can be that way and I'm just choosing not to be.

OHH BRAIN WHY CANT YOU WORK IN MY FAVOR ?!

Signs

Last night I went to a fabulous reaturant  in downtown  toronto called Signs. It's a place where most of the staff is deaf, it's a place so that guests like myself can go into experiance fine dining but also experiance the staffs side of the world as well.

Honestly though it was hands down the best service ive experianced in awhile. A room filled with great people, great staff and I also had learned so much.I learned sign language from the staff and the wall art... well i didnt learn enough to converse alot but enough to get me by. The cool thing is the servers only speak sign language and you have cheat sheets with signs at your table which allows you to communicate with your server. It was amazing and it really gets you in understanding what life is like on their side.

I'm sure they got frustrated because my hand and eye coordination isn't the best, but kathy and I felt pretty confidant at the end of the meal. We kept practicing what we learned the whole way home. I highly recommend this place to anyone who loves learning new things and loves to pig out because the food was delicious and the experiance was memorable.

Girls night just kathy and I was a fu, an eventful night filled with laughs, love and experiance. 

The appetizers = amazing 

Below is my bestfriend  kathy :) she is an awesome date partner! 

Home sweet home.

I have finally had a few days off from my crazy toronto life, and boy was it needed. I went back to cambridge to visit my lovely family and friends it was for sure a breathe of fresh air. As said before my bestfriend got engaged and I finally got to officially congratulate her on this big step in her life. I felt like a kid meeting Santa for the first time. That is exactly how excited I was when I saw her and the beautiful ring on her finger.

I got some visits from my closest of friends which felt amazing because they made time in their busy lives to see me and say a quick hello and catch up. So thank you lovely friends for spreading love towards me.  I also got to spend beautiful memorable moments with my little sister.  We never were the closest living together but once I moved a bond built and it's the best bond I could have ever asked for, but secretly I can't wait till she is older so we can be that much closer.

Having good friends and family around is the best feeling. Surround yourself with love and happiness it will make your life  that much better.

Now back to to reality in the toronto city in which I call my home away from home.

Love Toronto and it's busy days but it's good to take a step back and breathe.

I hear wedding bells.

No its not me with the wedding bells are coming for,that day will come soon enough I'm sure. For now the news of love are out for my best friend in the whole world Kathy aka thedaintykat and her partner in crime Brent. Who got purposed to last weekend, She is finally a FIANCE to an awesome guy who I am quite fond of, he is a real catch and great guy who makes her smile and keeps her grounded. They are both such an adorable and inlove couple that it makes you want to yell " GET A ROOM!!" I mean this in the most loving way :)

They have been together for 5 years and I've known her for about two of those many years. Her and I just recently clicked to being the best of friends, sisters, hubba & Bubba and mother daughter hahahaha.  She is my mom the responsible one who teaches me the good and the bad. Kathy is a kind soul who deserves the happiest of happiest engagements and wedding day. I am so glad to be apart of this journey with her and her hubby. To anyone who knows her personally or even just a stranger that just meets her will know this woman has talks your ears off about wanting to get a ring on her finger not for the sake of the ring but for the sake of wanting to have a man like brent to be her forever and always.The day has come finally and i have nothing but butterflys and tears of joy for her. But Now what shall we talk about since you engaged ?

let the savings and tears of joy begin. Let's get you married kathy to the man of your dreams.

Love you both.

Blooper bloopers in my everyday life.

While on the subway today while people watching, yes I people watch. I mean it in a way wherw I find it so interesting how everyone lives their own lives and we all go on our ways to different activities that make us who we are everyday, but yet we are all living in the same city with such similarities. Crazy isn't it? off topic but needed to share my train of thought.

Well .... while people watching on my way home I had a light bulb moment! I figured since I am such an entertainment, well kinda. Since I do,do my fare share of stupid things in my everyday life and  I Crack up alone about them, why not entertain my readers on my "blooper" moments In my life.

Introducing  blooper one of the many.. a few nights ago something happened yet again but this time it made me laugh a little harder then usual. I am a restless sleeper, I was partically asleep and turned over to my right shoulder and I  opened my eyes to find my boyfriend just waking up. As he  glanced over at me,I kid you not I jump in fear with a gasp of air as though someone as scared the living day lights out of me. I manage to fall back asleep every time but this time when waking up I laughed pretty hard because I thought to myself my poor boyfriend probably thinks I don't like him.

But the case is I just haven't gotten use to being on my own yet that I sometimes dream that I still live with my family in my old teenage room.  So when seeing him in my bed when  waking out of a dream like that it is a SHOCK!

So Hilarious that I continue to have a good laugh of this blooper and it happened about 3 nights ago.

Welcome to my blooper moments in my life.

Nothing Gold can Stay.

Ever wake up in those moods were you don't want to get out of bed, or talk to anyone?

 Not saying that you're wake up in a bad mood but you wake up in such blissful peace that you don't want anyone or anything to ruin your mood. I woke up like that today I have been in bed for a few hours now and I have no motivation to move. Unfortunately for me I have this thing called "a job" and it requires me to go in to work and make money so that I can afford this bed that I have in my place where I choose to sleep in and not want to get out of.

Why do beds have to be so comfortable? honestly I don't know anyone that sleeps and says damn I cannot wait to get out of bed ? sleeping isn't a chore for me that is for sure I enjoy my sleep, actually I find that I enjoy my sleep a lot more when I'm about to wake up. I usually  think to myself just a few more minutes, close my eyes prepare myself to get my feet on the floor, stretch and open my eyes to the sunlight. In fact those few more minutes are probably the best few more minutes in my sleeping pattern.

I Wright this all while I am in bed with a cup of tea bundled up in the most amount of clothing anyone could wear and two blankets. I swear I am not sick I'm just having one of those wrap me up so warm stay in bed forever moods.  Window wide open so I can feel the breeze against my face like I am actually outside, and only hearing the noise of the honking cars and sirens passing by. I have been like this for hours and I wish my day could end like this today.

One of those days with one of those moods, blissful peace. What's the term "Nothing gold can stay" Pony boy you understand the struggles of having to get out of bed.

bring out the colours and fall fashion

Its my absolute favourite time of the year!

Fall is here .. fall is here .. fall is here.

Raincoats, hats, scarfs and cute outfits are coming together amazing, drinks are being served aka pumpkin spice lattés and the weather has gone from sweaty hot days to beautiful cool sunny gloomy days. I know I may be the odd duck of the bunch but I love when it is cool calm and collective outside in this city.
This is a different type of fall for me though its a fall in the city a fall that I have yet to experience. I came from a small city where there were forests, trails and trees every where to look at and now I am surrounded by tall buildings minimal trees and honking cars everywhere I look. I do love both views but when it comes to fall I need to see the seasons change something about it makes me smile inside.

That warm fuzzy tingle you get in your mind while you see everything change is amazing and poles it makes great photos.

Happy Fall fashion everyone enjoy the weather and dress to impress :)

Life lately

Its been awhile don't you think?


I apologize for being under a rock these last few weeks, I swear I have been meaning to write but juggling school, work and a boyfriend is a lot of work. I tell myself everyday if a mother with kids and a husband can do all of this I sure and heck can do it to. Which leads me down this motivational path of kicking life's behind and being sure I am on top of my game when it comes to juggling all three things. I may not be motivated everyday to get my foot in gear but I can still say that I am trying my very hardest.

So life lately has kicked me in the throat, I mean this quite literally. For the past few weeks I had an annoying cough that had me sick as a dog. It really threw me off of my superwoman taking over the world game. I am still in a bit of a slum when it comes to my health but I am trying oh so very hard to get my feet back onto the floor and walking in the direction of kicking butt.

When it comes to school I am quit surprised my program. I have finally found the yellow brick road in my life. Assignments are piling high and tests are coming hot and fresh. Not sure whether I should be running or hiding but I am going in with a hammer. With lack of sleep, lack of nutrition and not any time for myself  I am breathing and feeling accomplished every essay and assignment complete. I think I deserve a pat on the back wouldn't you say? Right now it is 4 am while the world is sleeping getting ready for their work day I am wide awake doing assignments and preparing for my day to be sure I am on top of my school work. I have come to a conclusion that if I got paid for the amount of time I actually study, do assignments and clean my house I would be a millionaire.. now wouldn't that be the life?

Anyways I should get back to my lovely pile of assignments, Happy Tuesday :)

Think happy Be happy.

Just a few days ago I bought myself a book called The Secret, which may I add is a very inspirational and positive book. My friend Kathy has been reading it for a few days now and has been the most positive happiest she has ever been. Kathy and I always talk about bettering ourselves as woman and how to make our outlooks on our lives a lot more infulentual and happier. So she recommeneded that I read this book and it will help me get a jump start on my positive new life.

This book does just that I have been reading it for three days now and I have found myself a lot more happier and positive, its more of a mind over matter type of look on the world. It says if you want happiness and positive energy start being more positive and think you can and you will accomplish things as suppose to saying I can't, I don't want or I will not. It does take time to get into and trust me I'm still struggling and finding I do have my split second moods when I let my negative Nancy come out, but that's when I shut my eyes breathe and let the positive Patricia in new shine and say I can do it and I will do it and I am what makes myself a better person as a woman. I make my life what it is, I am the reason for all my surroundings. Since I have been the positive patty lately I have found my moods and mind a lot more humble and care free, its a great freedom experience.

If your looking for a push to the right path I really suggest reading this book it really is a breath of fresh air.

Stay humble and positive ❤

Scrubbing still

So remember that time I told you frank was in my tub? Well he still is and  I am loving this scrub. Its working well actually my can scars are fading away and I am feeling confidence peaking threw my skin :) here are some before and after pictures below, Slowly its getting better and I'm loving it.

Life with the oppisite sex.

Living with the opposite sex also known as my life companion is an adventure, actually its a journey with many obsitcles fun ones non the less but also a learning experience. Before we moved in together I had many people saying to me you truly know if you can be with this specific person for the rest of your life after living under one roof, or get ready for long fights and finding out habits about that person that make you itch, Thank you people for the kind words of advice haha. I guess living with someone is never easy, first because  we all like our own privacy and we all have habits that may not mesh with that other person. Respect and patience is a huge quality you must gain once living with your other half, I have learned that especially because I am very much so a clean freak and I have a minor contorling quality ... Okay more then minor but it's just because I like things done a certain way,but when you live with someone you learn to compromise, share opinions, habits and one queen size bed. Space is no longer an option when living in a condo but its not as bad as it sounds. I enjoy sharing my space with the one man I care for and I enjoy seeing those funny habits of his, I won't expose them on here don't worry my lips are sealed.

For those who say living under one roof is really how you know if this life is right for you is right completely but we really need to voice that in a more positive way as appose to a "run before its to late" kind of tone. In my twenties and living alone with my other half is a lot more then I thought it would be, I never imagined I'd be were I am today at my age but I am. I look forward to coming home to my own space, I look forward to having my best friend always there waiting to hear how my day went and the cherry on top is I have my own personal chef ... Well depending who's home first but it happens. Living with someone isn't as bad as many make it seem, sure you lose privacy and your "me" time but at least you know you have met this one person out of 1000000000 people to live with and share you space with. Isn't that crazy we all grow in this world to find that one person to spend our life with and its an on going journey but when you find that person you never want to let them go.. Like food :)

Read between the lines.

Woke up today ready to kick the worlds rear end, in a motivational way of course. Lately I've been pretty down on myself weight wise and about my own life. I preach a lot to others on how they should love themselves and better themselves if they find they are not happy but I find it a lot harder to take my own advice. Ever have those day were you feel supperiror and that you can concour the world? And then people just sweep on in telling you things that hurt your feelings. Well I felt great at one point thinking I lost more weight and I was feeling great but I had people tell me I have gained and that I got comfortable. I guess I needed that kick in the butt to realize I have gotten comfortable with my body and that I needed to maintain my weight or it was something better left unsaid.

Today though for some glorious reason my mind and body woke up happier then ever and ready to get back in motion, women always compare and always critic themselves but the thing is we need to love ourselves for what we are and who we are as women we are a beautiful thing. We are blessed to have the powers that we do and we should show off those powers and work hard for happiness and love. It's easy to preach to others on how they should love themselves but loving your self the battle is real and its real hard because we always want what we can't have. In this case I'm loving what I can have and I will have because I will work hard enough to make myself happy and greatful for my accomplishments. No one has ever said living life is easy and for those who say life is to short it's not really it's just a saying telling you to get off your behind live the life you want and quit bitching about how much you dislike your life and self. So that's why I'm doing I'm quiting the bitching I'm standing up for myself whether or not people think I've gained weight or not I am living my life for me and fighting for my happiness.

So read between the lines.. Litterly! My life and I am living it all with my rules.
You can cheer me on or you can watch me fail but at least I'm trying.